His heart contracts, painful and pounding in his chest as he meets Alecto's eyes, as he stays utterly, perfectly still beneath his seemingly exploratory touch. Alecto is temptation in physical form, inhabiting his life, his house, his bed. There is so much he could say - so much more he wants, his body and his heart yearning for further intimacies, for a promise of a future together.

But whatever Alecto's gratefulness for what little Joshua had been able to provide him, Joshua is deeply aware of that gaping wound, that past betrayal that had made this moment possible. It didn't matter that he hadn't been the original perpetrator. Every moment when Alecto didn't have true freedom, wasn't able to actually make a choice, was an extension of that initial violation.

But in moments like this, however much he hated it, he feels a deep fellow feeling with Nathaniel, for holding so tight to Alecto, for wanting to keep this for as long as possible, for ignoring the toll.

It was easy to count the cost cheap, when you weren't the one paying.

"You've given me so much," he says, a little helplessly. "I... don't think I can ask for more."