He listens, his expression unchanging, though something in his heart softens. He finds himself, once again, with the sea to his back and the man he loves before him, and unable to move, to choose.
"Joshua," he says, quietly, a little helplessly. His heart still pulls towards him, pained to see him in pain, even if Alecto himself was still struggling to forgive him for bearing this secret. "I..." do love you he wants to say. That hasn't changed, won't change. But how can he explain that he's more than just this, that he's a wild creature, bound to the song of the sea, and that sometimes loss can be so big, bigger than imagining, too big for even love to cover over -
" - need to go." The words are barely audible, the hum and call of the ocean now so clear, so reachable.
Alecto's hand goes to his stomach almost automatically, and then glances over to Avery who looks so confused, so defeated. There's an immeasurable sorrow that fills Alecto now, making him want to rush to comfort his son, hold him close. He's innocent in this, completely. Alecto feels terrible to have to put his pup through this pain.
"Come here, my little one," he beckons, bending down, and Avery instantly rushes to him, sensing something is changing, leaving. Alecto kisses his forehead as he starts to cry, a bright tear tracing a path down his cheek and dripping onto his son's dark hair. "Listen to me. Be good now. I need to...I need to go for a while, do you understand?" Avery doesn't, it's clear in his little face, and he may never, but Alecto rushes on.
"Remember when you asked me to swim in the sea last night? I can do that now, and I - I can go home." He cups the side of his son's face, tilts it to look up at him. "I haven't been home in so very long. So I - I need to do that now. Alright? Help take care of your father for me, will you? Oh, my little tidal wave. I love you so." Alecto's voice cracks just a little, clutching his son close, his sealskin between them, a thin divider, before he pulls back and quickly lets the robe he was previously wearing fall to the ground, replacing it with his coat, the fur sliding onto him with such practice familiarity. Safe, he feels safe and whole. Finally.
He makes for the door, a blur of silver and magic, and chances a look back at his husband, at the house they made together, the family they were building. His chest goes tight. It's not fair, he thinks. It's not fair that he has to break Joshua's heart to mend his own.
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"Joshua," he says, quietly, a little helplessly. His heart still pulls towards him, pained to see him in pain, even if Alecto himself was still struggling to forgive him for bearing this secret. "I..." do love you he wants to say. That hasn't changed, won't change. But how can he explain that he's more than just this, that he's a wild creature, bound to the song of the sea, and that sometimes loss can be so big, bigger than imagining, too big for even love to cover over -
" - need to go." The words are barely audible, the hum and call of the ocean now so clear, so reachable.
Alecto's hand goes to his stomach almost automatically, and then glances over to Avery who looks so confused, so defeated. There's an immeasurable sorrow that fills Alecto now, making him want to rush to comfort his son, hold him close. He's innocent in this, completely. Alecto feels terrible to have to put his pup through this pain.
"Come here, my little one," he beckons, bending down, and Avery instantly rushes to him, sensing something is changing, leaving. Alecto kisses his forehead as he starts to cry, a bright tear tracing a path down his cheek and dripping onto his son's dark hair. "Listen to me. Be good now. I need to...I need to go for a while, do you understand?" Avery doesn't, it's clear in his little face, and he may never, but Alecto rushes on.
"Remember when you asked me to swim in the sea last night? I can do that now, and I - I can go home." He cups the side of his son's face, tilts it to look up at him. "I haven't been home in so very long. So I - I need to do that now. Alright? Help take care of your father for me, will you? Oh, my little tidal wave. I love you so." Alecto's voice cracks just a little, clutching his son close, his sealskin between them, a thin divider, before he pulls back and quickly lets the robe he was previously wearing fall to the ground, replacing it with his coat, the fur sliding onto him with such practice familiarity. Safe, he feels safe and whole. Finally.
He makes for the door, a blur of silver and magic, and chances a look back at his husband, at the house they made together, the family they were building. His chest goes tight. It's not fair, he thinks. It's not fair that he has to break Joshua's heart to mend his own.